Go to Page Content

When Oso gets yanked off his motorcycle and killed by a closed parking lot chain, Billy feels guilty for having taught him to hop curbs and shortcut traffic lights. Billy’s survivor’s guilt drags him down a spiral of excessive alcohol, one-night stands, body painting, and reckless driving. He’s now all too aware that life is short—play hard.

Meanwhile, Oso’s former girlfriend Lindy pours her grief into her new folk-rock album as she struggles with whether she can ever let herself love again. Can she turn this personal tragedy into something meaningful through her music?

Pushing Leaves Towards the Sun explores survivor’s guilt and grief through reckless adventure, a dozen original songs, and fiction. When you’ve lost someone you love, there are no easy answers. Know that you’re not alone in your struggle. Billy and Lindy are here.

This novel is intended for adults. It includes some graphic language, sexual situations, and questionable behavior. Recovery from intense loss is a rough road -- 100 miles-per-hour on two wheels with no regard for oncoming traffic, as an example.

Get This
Book Now!

Tip this Author!

Love this free audiobook? support it!


  • Curb Hopping: Part I begins. POV–Billy. Summer of 1984. Friday Night. Greenwich Hospital in Greenwich, Connecticut. Racing, death and survivor’s guilt.

  • He Loved to Ride: POV–Lindy. Hospital tears and lost relationships.

  • Last Call: POV–Billy. The payphone inside The Fallout Shelter and broken weekend plans.

  • Oso’s Last Ride: POV–Lindy. Oso’s BMW motorcycle, a Sony Sports Walkman, and shortcutting through a parking lot. Companion song - One Down and Four Up

  • Formidable Force: POV–Billy. Locker trouble and a hallway fight.

  • Kassi’s Diner: Part II begins. 2 Years Later—Summer of 1986. POV–Billy. The daily hangover and a stranger in bed.

  • Bubble Hockey: POV–Lindy. Wrestling with music and lyrics, plus an unlikely muse. Companion song - Can’t Say Goodbye

  • The Battle of Breakfast: POV–Billy. Bedroom games and basement blues. Can’t Say Goodbye reprise.

  • High School: POV–Lindy. Vodka and Pepsi at the Icebreaker Dance. Rock, paper, scissors.

  • Around The Loco Beer Fridge: POV–Billy. 100 m.p.h. motorcycle Pac-Man. Back-porch gathering. Jules’ double walk of shame.

  • The Fallout Shelter: POV–Dog. The nightclub life. Dog can’t find a date. One Down and Four Up revisited. A sneak peak at the original unplugged version of From a Long Way Away. Companion song - If I’m Only Dreaming about a menage-a-trois gone way-wrong.

  • Ship of Fools: POV–Billy. The JFK roadtrip begins. Roadies from the Loco Beer Fridge. Toll booths. Periodic Captain’s reports. The crew goes missing. Preview of Man-Made Roadblocks.

  • Officer Huskador: POV–Lindy. Boarding-door dilemma.

  • Guests of the Crew: POV–Billy. I think this road trip is starting to get out of hand.

  • Concert Plans: POV–Lindy. How Puerto Rico happened.

  • Misery Loves Company: POV–Billy. Chicken wings, breakfast cocktails, beach time, and coping strategies.

  • One Day: POV–Lindy. Live at the Fallout Shelter. Companion songs - One Day about the anger stage of grief, and Screwed at the Drive-thru that aks, "Where's the rest of my food? Dude!"

  • Dog Houses: POV–Dog. The boys return home.

  • Spy’s Surprise: POV–Lindy. Beer-bottle label lyrics. Companion song - Man-Made Roadblocks

  • Don Q and Phoenix for Two: POV–Billy. Back porch brews. Caribbean recap.

  • Zodiac Signs. POV–Lindy: IDs and the ABC.

  • What About Lindy?: POV–Billy. Jules, and you are what you eat. Egg toast. Is Lindy fair game?

  • Hey Young Lady: POV–Lindy. Companion songs - Hey Young Lady and Organized Anger (drum solo)

  • White Horse Diner: POV–Dog. After hours, and friends don’t let friends drive drunk.

  • Back in the Saddle: POV–Billy. Sunday at the Leaki Tiki, Kassi’s Diner, and someone gets back in the air.

  • At Least It’s Paid For: POV–Dog. Another back-porch gathering.

  • Cockroaches of the Sea: POV–Billy. The woes of lobstering with Dog.

  • About ‘Just Dan’: POV–Lindy. Discount shopping, country-club waitresssing, and the origin of Just Dan’s name revealed.

  • From a Long Way Away: POV–Lindy. An unexpected basement interview. Companion song - From a Long Way Away.

  • The Silent Treatment: POV–Billy. Jules undresses (again). Introducing Lindy to other forms of art besides music.

  • Next Move. POV–Lindy: Steaming chowder, Billy’s surprise creative effort, look who is doing shots of Jack, and what lies ahead. Companion song - Just Another

  • Pushing a Couple Leaves Towards the Sun: POV–Billy. Sour Mash encounter. Companion song – Pushing Leaves Towards the Sun

  • Restless Sleep: POV–Lindy. Roulette balls, organ grinders, and reaching out across the bed.

  • Encore: Part III begins. 2 Years Later—Summer of 1988. POV–Lindy. The arena. Need I say more? Companion songs - The Family Tree and Cats

  • Epilogue: POV–Billy. Like a yearbook, what happened to everybody. Musical collage of all 12 songs. Visit my website: www.marklberry.com

  • Episode 36 - This is the Q & A Episode. Questions and comments from fellow podcasters Seth Harwood, Mike Bennett, Kenn Crawford; my fellow readers Alison Leston and Christopher Madden; numerous collaborative musicians who brought the companion songs of this audiobook to life; as well as listeners from near and far. I hope you liked my audiobook novel, and please check out my website: http://marklberry.com or send me an e-mail mark@marklberry.com Huge thanks to Evo and Podiobooks.com

Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 Logo This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 license.

Powered by Libsyn.com