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This podiobook is complete
A Dancing Bear by David Free
Fiction
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What if getting the girl meant becoming a terrorist wet boy?
On an unnamed university campus late in the 20th century, a young man named Fenton Bland joins a society of student Maoists in order to get near the girl he loves. But the girl turns out to belong to the chief Maoist -- and he turns out to harbor alarming aspirations in the field of revolutionary terror. And so Fenton, wearing a forcibly grown beard, finds himself propelled into a bizarre covert world of death lists, backyard bomb labs, untraceable handguns, and attempted wet jobs of wildly varying quality -- a world in which he must choose between losing the girl forever or else participating, perhaps very soon, in a successful terrorist atrocity.
Along the way he must contend with a motley cast of characters, few of whom enjoy optimal grips on reality. There is Gus, the Maoist kingpin who in his quest to become a practising terrorist will draw the line at nothing, not even a car bombing ("I'm listening, mate -- provided you're not referring to my Kombi.") There is the fiery student radical Pamela Scratch, linked to Fenton by an infinitely regrettable sex act perpetrated in a sandpit at the age of five. And there is the incarcerated and patently guilty multiple murderer Neville Claude Aggot, whose spectacular escape augments the already long list of impending homicides that Fenton must at least try to avert as the novel hurtles, like a Kombi full of high explosive, towards its climax...
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Audio Quality: 
Out of 47 ratings
Narration Quality:
Out of 48 ratings
Writing Quality:
Out of 48 ratings
Overall Rating:
Out of 49 ratings
By: Esther
It took me a while to relax into the strong Oz accent and bland style of narration but it was worth waiting. This is one of the best audio books I have listened too. It has style, a solid plot, a great sense of humour and makes excellent use of the English language.By: David
Appreciate it Per Ove - Glad you enjoyed it, and thanks for taking the time to comment.By: per ove sleen
Thank you very much for writing this incredible story, and for reading it aloud for us....just incredible...thanks man!! POS
Chapters
| Title | Description | Date Created |
| Chapter One (20.39 MB) | Our hero, Fenton Bland, impersonates a Maoist. A campaign of revolutionary terror is proposed. A vast obstacle to his romantic designs presents itself. | Nov 13, 2006 |
| Chapter Two (9 MB) | Fenton wrestles with his conscience, defeats it, and resolves to cuckold the Maoist kingpin. The work of Ivan Lego, eminent and impenetrable theorist, is briefly considered. | Nov 13, 2006 |
| Chapter Three (22.85 MB) | Fenton encounters Pamela Scratch, former childhood friend, current fiery radical, joint holder of a terrible secret. He sends her, inadvertently, down a new and possibly lethal political path. The life and crimes of Neville Aggot, multiple murderer, are canvassed. | Nov 13, 2006 |
| Chapter Four (13.56 MB) | Fenton's minimalist sex life is surveyed, tastefully. We encounter Robert Browning, haggard defender of the Western Canon, ideological nemesis of Ivan Lego. | Nov 13, 2006 |
| Chapter Five (26.09 MB) | Fenton takes some sh*t from his housemates and their psychopathic cat. The clearly deranged Gus confirms his commitment to the perpetration of an as-yet-unspecified terrorist atrocity. | Nov 13, 2006 |
| Chapter Six (15.1 MB) | Encountering two key characters, including the girl he yearns for with every particle of his being except his digestive tract, Fenton exhibits disgrace under pressure. | Nov 26, 2006 |
| Chapter Seven (17.74 MB) | At a fiery televised event, Ivan Lego launches a novel containing no words. A feisty Pamela Scratch, unleashing SNARBY's campaign to liberate Neville Claude Aggot, threatens to steal the show. | Nov 26, 2006 |
| Chapter Eight (10.11 MB) | The Maoists convene to draw up a death list, with alarming results. | Dec 3, 2006 |
| Chapter Nine (16.3 MB) | Some reflections on becoming (maybe) a terrorist. A death in the family. A barbecue, at which the finer points of the Maoist death plot will be brainstormed, is scheduled. | Dec 4, 2006 |
| Chapter Ten (9.03 MB) | Ivan Lego's wordless book receives rave reviews. Robert Browning, having narrowly escaped inclusion on the Maoists' death list, suffers an only marginally better fate. | Dec 4, 2006 |
| Chapter Eleven (13.42 MB) | Fenton strikes a blow for common decency: he tells Charmaine that her boyfriend's a compiler of death lists. Following a tearful televised plea by the surviving members of the Baker family, SNARBY's campaign to liberate the man who killed the rest of them is thrown into crisis. | Dec 24, 2006 |
| Chapter Twelve (24.72 MB) | The day of the terrorist barbecue finally arrives. Various methods of liquidating Ivan Lego are brainstormed. Gus laments the decline of the classical bomb. A surprise explosives expert is appointed. | Dec 24, 2006 |
| Chapter Thirteen (11.59 MB) | The standoff over the disposal of Streetwise's corpse, which isn't getting any fresher, drags on. Fenton's dick, while featuring in an unconscionable domestic sex act, is almost snapped off at the root. | Jan 21, 2007 |
| Chapter Fourteen (9.74 MB) | Pamela Scratch's most fervent political wish is granted: the most desperate of the TV networks screens "An Hour With Neville Claude Aggot." The show proves the most humiliating PR disaster, at least for the moment, in SNARBY's short history. Several plump fans send Aggot proposals of marriage through the mail. | Jan 21, 2007 |
| Chapter Fifteen (7.84 MB) | Newspapers report that Ivan "Empty Pages" Lego has received a series of death threats, which may or may not include the very polite sort of semi-threat issued to him by Fenton. Fenton, far from blowing the whistle on Gus's rapidly evolving bomb plot, instead enters into a disgraceful wager about it with Charmaine, solely in order to touch and shake her hand - a clasp that may well turn out to be the closest he ever gets to enjoying sexual congress with her. | Jan 21, 2007 |
| Chapter Sixteen (23.07 MB) | The date of the bombing is drastically brought forward. The hardware is prepared. Gus quotes Julius Caesar. Fenton retains control of events in the only way he can think of: by volunteering to plant the device. | Jan 21, 2007 |
| Chapter 17 (10.14 MB) | Neville Claude Aggot scores a scintillating solo try, then escapes from custody. The state's biggest ever manhunt since the last manhunt for Aggot commences. | Jan 28, 2007 |
| Chapter 18 (8.5 MB) | Ivan Lego is lauded by journalists, deluged with cash, deemed a sex symbol, wooed by movie producers, and otherwise rewarded for publishing his wordless novel. | Jan 28, 2007 |
| Chapter Nineteen (22.94 MB) | The Maoists convene at Warren's bedside. The alarming extent of Warren's injuries is revealed. Gus unveils his revised death plot: the ominously named Operation Aggot. | Feb 4, 2007 |
| Chapter Twenty (14.57 MB) | The fame of Ivan Lego bloats, and death threats continue to pour in. Robert Browning, turning detective, sifts through the evidence, and finds that it all points to him: except for the parts that point to Fenton. | Feb 4, 2007 |
| Chapter Twenty-One (3.32 MB) | Gus tweaks Operation Aggot, finding scope for the simultaneous deployment of two two-man death squads. Less than twenty-four hours remain, he reminds us, till showtime. | Feb 4, 2007 |
| Chapter Twenty-Two (17.24 MB) | On the eve of Operation Aggot, Fenton tries to get a night of really top-notch sleep. But a knock on his door in the dead of night ruins his chances of that, and raises the question: who, with Neville Claude Aggot still at large, would be insane enough to be out there on the door's other side? | Feb 4, 2007 |
| Chapter Twenty-Three (14.05 MB) | The identity of Operation Aggot's second victim is revealed. Zero hour approaches. Fenton plays his last card. | Feb 11, 2007 |
| Chapter Twenty-Four (24.51 MB) | Gus and Fenton proceed to the death site. Rain lashes the Kombi. An axe and a meat cleaver gleam in the vehicle's mysterious rear. Gus, who is intoxicated, attempts to enter Lego's two-storey home in spectacular fashion. | Feb 11, 2007 |
| Chapter Twenty-Five (33.03 MB) | The morning after the unraveling of Operation Aggot, Fenton surveys the wreckage of his former life. A newspaper recounts Col and Smithy's botched attempt to liquidate the bus driver. A final operation - involving a new victim, a staged suicide and an untraceable handgun - is proposed. | Mar 11, 2007 |
| Chapter Twenty-Six (10.99 MB) | The manhunt for Neville Aggot takes a chilling turn. Forensics teams, abetted by at least one cadaver dog, commence excavations in Fenton's backyard. With around twelve hours to go till the elimination of Robert Browning, Gus takes delivery of the untraceable piece. | Mar 18, 2007 |
| Chapter Twenty-Seven (14.63 MB) | Pamela Scratch briefly emerges from hiding to deliver some icky news. Fenton, having dismally failed to win her with lies, at last tries telling Charmaine the truth: about himself, about Gus, about Operation Aggot, and about the impending elimination of Robert Browning. | Mar 18, 2007 |
| Chapter Twenty-Eight (15.4 MB) | Fenton, packing the untraceable piece, enters the home of Robert Browning. A single shot rings out in the night. Gus broadies cravenly out of Fenton's life. | Mar 24, 2007 |
| Chapter Twenty-Nine (6.38 MB) | The police call a halt to digging operations in Fenton's backyard. The Sheets of Shame, after extensive examination by the world's foremost analysts of encrusted organic material, are returned to their rightful owner. The mystery of Neville Claude Aggot's whereabouts is at last resolved. | Mar 24, 2007 |
| Chapter Thirty (4.03 MB) | Pressed for details on the location of Robert Browning's corpse, Fenton plays dumb. There is just time, before the story closes, for one last bad decision. | Mar 24, 2007 |